May is only a day away..

April 30th, 2011

that right there.. was one of Olives last bottles! I had attempt to take it away before.. cold turkey.. and it was hell.. the screams.. not going to bed.. waking up after she screamed herself to sleep.. I was too pregnant to do it..  so my mom gave me the brilliant idea of telling her the Easter bunny was going to take it! but he was going to leave her chaaaaalk-let.. so for a month.. everyday we talked about it.. he was going to give them to his baby bunnies.. but she got chocolate and big girl cups.. of course I never factored in that we would be in a full house at my mommas for Easter.. and I wasn’t about to torture them with her death-rage-attachment-crys.. so we waited until we got home.. 

and it has been.. flawless!!

I am shocked.. I put her down for her nap with her last bottle.. told her the Easter bunny was taking them all away..  came down and washed and put them away.. put away the drying rack.. and she has only asked for it once since.. and I just reminded her the Easter Bunny has them!! and that was it.. and I hope it lasts.. because I am tired of this transition.. I want her to stay my baby forever ;)  

speaking of babies.. I had my first little hospital scare.. they wanted to check me out because they thought my water had broke.. (good news though.. I only peed my pants three times!) haha.. and I grabbed my bag.. papa happened to be 40 min away.. so he came and sat with her.. and I went in.. and then the anxiety hit once I drove towards the hospital.. the whole time I knew it wasn’t my time.. but.. what if it was.. gulp.. put the Canadian family in the know.. and checked in.. and it was weird.. it was the same woman who checked me in with Olive! I only remember this because she is a very eccentric elderly woman.. and when they weighed me.. I was my weight when Olive came out.. it would have been serendipitous.. had I given birth..

waiting outside the triage doors.. duh duh duh.. 

I was checked and monitored.. and given the boot.. and it only took 2.5 hours.. they did monitor how “happy” my baby was.. her heart rate readings were off the charts.. and I was having 40 second contractions.. the nurse actually asked me if I was disappointed i was going home..  umm. that’s a negative ghost writer.. I want at least one more week of baby brewing.. lung development.. and then she can come when she is ready ;)

and once it sunk in when I was lying there all monitored.. in rolled the anxiety.. it was insane.. and the first thing that popped into my head was the birthing affirmations Carmen sent me.. thank you Carmen.. they reallyhelped..  I was stupid enough to go to work last night.. and at the time I was like.. yah.. oh course.. but once I got there.. my subconscious was getting mad at me and trying to release its anger through my mouth and eyeballs.. and I realized I should have stayed home.. I had 5 major contractions while walking around and at tables.. and am slowly realizing that I may have to stop working.. 

but we will see ;) work now.. play later.. 

this is why I love children!

time to absorb..

April 29th, 2011

what a great thing to be a part of.. if you were like me.. you dreamed of Prince William as a young lass.. I remember when he came to visit our part of the world.. and playing out those fantasies in my head that he would find me in the crowd and sweep me off my feet ;)  you know y’all did the same.. I unfortunately did not wake up at 3.. well that is a lie.. I was up at 11.. 12.. 2.. 4.. 5.. and now 6.. this baby was doing something in the belly.. and I was trying to balance between.. “am I in labor?” and ” must see the dress”  so I opted for a 5:30 am wake up.. and now I scour.. 

I have to admit.. I have not fallen in love with the dress completely.. yet..  it did nothing for her amazing body.. aka.. her amazing rack.. I thought she would wear something more glamorous.. but I think she is keeping is honest for the next 50 years of Royalty..  and that veil was amazing!  although the way it sucked to her face while she was outside would have drove me nuts..I felt her pain.. but I love the train.. my first thought seeing it was Princess Diana.. 

I am also surprised by Pippas ensemble.. and hair.. I thought these ladies would have been the ones to kick the Royals into the next century?! I have never been a fan of the cap sleeve.. well. I am until I gain my baby weight.. and then it is really hard to pull off.. but seriously.. if we didnt have our secret baby names picked out.. I would have done Pippa.. is is so freaking adorable!

oh Prince Harry.. always looking good.. I don’t know if its because I am not a fan of that rich vibrant red.. but I think they should have switched uniforms.. keep in mind I have no idea how the British army uniforms work.. so that may very much be not allowed.. I loved all the mandatory morning suits.. and I wish he was able to rock one!! but they looked so amazing!!

love the yellow! I hope to rock outfits when i am 85 years old!! she always reminds me of my own sweet Grandma B.. I think it was my grandmas scottish accent.. and just that confidence she has.. true Queen.. 

and dont think we dont see you!!

I was really excited to know that Mrs. Beckham couldn’t hide behind a giant Balenciaga purse or one of her sons.. the baby belly was loud and proud! of course they looked amazing..(but one smile would have been nice Posh Spice)

I have been bouncing back and forth between networks to take it all in.. and I actually had to change Good Morning Americas station.. Barbara Walters was driving me nutso.. on such a great morning of love.. and change and my boyfriend marrying another woman ;) she was talking about the average royal divorce.. picking a designer who commit suicide.. and was missing detailed knowledge on certain Royals.. get your shit together Barbara! 

and as much as this blog post is sounding negetive.. know that it isnt.. haha.. I love weddings.. and I cannot wait to see what this one will do to the next season of wedding planning.. the hats.. the lace.. the morning suits.. I think we will be seeing iteverywhere..

love..

like I have said before.. I am in love with Kate Middleton.. she is beautiful.. and regal.. and that hair!! 

and now.. (just like any other wedding) .. we wait for the pregnancy news ;)

most of these photos were taken from People.com

April 28th, 2011

I am obsessed with Kate Middleton right now.. obsessed! I am setting an alarm clock for 2:30am tonight just so I can catch a glimpse of the dress.. and the fashion.. and take it all in.. I thought Dustin was going to judge.. until he mentioned wanting to wake up to do it to !?   I just cant wait until the morning.. and I don’t own any recording devices.. 

36..

April 27th, 2011

I am 36 weeks today! the scariest part is when I applied this sticker.. I thought it was really low and close to the pants :0 then I looked at the photo.. not so much.. I am large and in charge.. and retaining water like a HOT MESS! yesterday at work I had way to many tables asking me if I was having twins.. 

them- wow.. are there twins in there!!

me- nope.. just one!

them- no.. there is.. there has to be.. you are definitely having twins!!

me-  oh.. ok

on an exciting note.. at the doctors on Monday.. my low fluid scares were put to rest when they told me I actually have TONS of fluid.. on a reading they like to see an 8.. and I had an 18.. this means nothing to me except that I am 10 above what I should be.. and I’ll take it!!

my friend had her sweet baby Tuesday morning.. and now I am the last of the “work group” it feels weird.. walking into work yesterday was actually kind of sad.. no more partners in crime.. and now its my time.. gulp.. 

this sadly is my last comparison photo.. at least it brings me joy because there is a Christmas tree in the photo.. 

my food cravings have been jumping all over the place.. yesterday it was strawberry.. and because I cant have fruit.. but I can have dairy.. I purchased some neapolitan ice cream.. and it hit the spot.. I couldn’t stop.. I was allowed half a cup.. and i had to tell Dustin to come pry it out of my hands.. literally..  in sad food news.. no more spice.. which is all I want and crave.. but I am actually getting heartburn.. it is wild.. and painful.. and thankfully it only reared its ugly face in the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy.. because I need tabasco on everything!!

Olive is finally growing tall and her pjs aren’t fitting anymore.. (those would be the 12 month ones ;) she is back to being obsessed with her flash cards.. Ronnie pulled out the “shapes” cards we bought her back at Christmas and had stashed in her closet.. and when we came home from Portland.. she knew what a grey hexagon was.. it blew our minds.. we had no idea she even had these cards out.. and me and dust were on the floor dying of laughter.. 

on a nesting note.. mine is out of control.. I am trying to bring order and chaos to a situation that has no concept of it.. (perfect birth.. right!?) emails are being sent.. and I am starting to panic about when the moment comes and who will take Olive..  papa just sent me an email saying him and my “night time come get olive person” will be in Texas May15th-18th.. gulp.. I think he thought I knew already..  Dustin never calmed my fears when he said.. “we will just bring her”.. dear lord.. I am in trouble!

breathe.. breathe.. 

easter.. take 2..

April 26th, 2011

I think i made up for not having an Easter last year ;) so as I was saying.. this was my last trip to Canada.. and it was good.. very exhausting.. and water retaining.. but good.. there is something about the drive up that I don’t drink the normal water I should (I cant stand all the bathroom breaks) and by the time I get there.. my knees look like swimming pools..  in my case on Saturday.. it was almost a 4 hour car ride.. yes 4.. it was bad.. we left the house at 3:45pm.. got some gas and pulled onto the I-5.. which was when apparently everyone else did.. it was so bad I thought there was an accident.. nope.. we drove this way for over an hour and a half.. stop n go.. standard.. braxton hicks.. it made me really wish I had bought an automatic..  we had 8 minutes of normal driving speeds. before it happened again. stop and go.. it is the Tulip festival down here.. and there were signs everywhere warning of more heavy traffic.. until bellingham.. ironically enough.. the borders were dead..  and we coast right through.. 

stretching out the old car legs.. 

finally arived to family fun.. easter egg hunts.. bad sleeps.. and way to much chocolate.. the cousins had a great time together! we put the kids down for  a nap (or so we thought) and headed back to the local 14th ave pub.. missing one set of siblings.. and had a great time.. it was the first time we had ever done this as a group before.. no kids.. just burgers and brew..  I waddled home and waited for the rest of the fam to arrive..

the kids went nuts with the hunt.. it was so much fun to see.. especially because olives hunt the day before.. was so short that she never had time to get excited about grabbing all the easter eggs we could find.. Heidi and Olive were so sweet and inseperabe.. on the morning we were leaving.. I watched Olive hold her hand out to Heidi while they were sitting on the little step.. and goes

Heidi.. Friends!  I friends with Heidi

Heidi reached her hand out and they proceeded to hold hands.. it was so precious!

the next time I see my fam.. I will be a mama of two.. and probably not have my teeth brushed or my face washed ;) but I am now glad to have my legs firmly planted in Mill Creek  (I never thought I would write that).. and just nest away.. I had my doctor appointments yesterday and the baby is a very active little lady.. and they gave me the old “If the baby comes now.. we wont try to stop labor” speech.. it is always welcomed ;)  and I had a new dr check me out while mine is “sunning” in Kelowna for the week.. and I was fortunate enough for it to also by my strep./herpes/swab test.. yes ladies.. you know which one I am talking about! because I am having contractions.. they wanted to get it done now because of the 5 day wait time..  

Hi.. nice to meet you new Dr.. these are my goods ;)

I got a lot of questions answered by this nice man.. and left feeling very reassured and ready.. 

and now.. we wait.. 

and Tabitha.. I never ended up making the Paska.. I was to lazy to get the produce :0 next year.. lets do it together!!

home..

April 25th, 2011

I am home.. back from my last trip to the Canadas.. I tried not to think to much about it.. because it is a celebratory reason why i am not going back for a while.. but it was still sad.. especially cause my last trip up was for Easter.. and the whole fam was there.. 

Pros.. I drove home solo while the daddy has olive.. ahhh.. amazing! I have my two drs appts and he had some stops to make.. the music was cranked.. stopping for my million bathroom breaks with ease.. no border lineup .. stopped at timmy hoes to get my last breakfast meal in months.. I crave their breakfast like no other..  and it was just a nice drive worrying about myself.. and not my little lady.. 

Cons.. the rain.. downpour almost the whole way here.. I forgot timmy does not take visa.. and every card I own down here in the americas is debit visa.. they were nice enough to give me my coffee free.. but I am a diabetic pregnant woman who was craving her last meal and starving.. and I had to wait to bellingham.. where they accept my funny money.. (I had NO cash on me).. I had to stop a million times because this babies head was directly on the bladder.. and I almost peed my pants in Dustins car :0.. the lid to my coffee bent off and was spilling everywhere..  and by the end of the trip I was practicing my breathing for my contractions.. and was trying not to swerve off the road at the kicks this baby was performing in my belly**  and fetal monitoring called and tried to change my appointment to thursday.. I said no way.. no babysitters.. and refused to drive down early for no appointment.. when I could have been napping at my mommas!

** you know what I mean if you saw my video.. 

but I am home.. no camera.. no luggage.. and get a whole hour to myself before the drs :)  

yes please!

hoppy easter eggstravaganza..

April 23rd, 2011

today was our Mill Creek Easter egg hunt.. this was supposed to be our third year but because of the wedding madness last year.. it was skipped.. that and it was raining ;) but this year it was beautiful out.. and olive totally understands the eggies.. chocolate.. easter bunny situation.. so we went.. and it was fun.. minus my hay-fever randomly acting up for the first time this year :0

she was ready! you can see her strut through this photo!

there were bouncy houses.. free Starbucks coffee.. guess the jelly beans and lots of people.. so needless to say. me and my shy peanut did none of that.. but instead we played in the grass and put flowers and rocks in hereaster basket purse..  her beautiful pink purse.. she was very excited to watch the kids play in the bouncy castles.. I just knew there was no way she would even attempt to go in.. so we sat and watched.. 

she grasped the “you have to wait” concept.. and we stood patiently outside the caution tape talking about how the easter bunny brought these eggies.. filled with chocolate.. or in olives world.. 

chaaaaaaaalk-let

it was go time.. and it was a shit show.. there were so many people there.. over 15’000 eggies.. and she managed to get 4.. and the whole thing lasted about 25 seconds..  I thought of Lu the whole time.. because she was there to witness my over-involved parenting skills 3 years ago.. when I was stealing from children so that my baby girl could have eggies for her basket.. lord help me when she goes to school :0

it was just me and her there.. so this was the best shot of the two of us that I could get.. the part that broke my heart was when she looked around and put her hands up “wheres papa? wheres daddy?”   one day olive.. one day.. 

the other thing that broke my heart is when she was strutting so proud with her easter basket on the way to the car.. so proud of her treats.. and she bailed on her shoe lace and her purse and eggies went flying!! she looked so upset :(  but then we turned the corner to see the firetruck display.. and all was forgotten.. and mama had no problem heading over to inspect thefireman firetruck ;)

we headed back to the car.. only to realize it was unlocked and my purse was sitting in there with my wallet :0 well. I can be grateful it was still in there at least.. haha.. 

where is my head these days!!

I let her eat all the chocolate eggies she wanted.. and she was in Heaven.. and now.. I am going to attempt to put my sugar buzzed little lady to bed!!

Winston and bbQ.. you were missed!!

Happy Earth Day..

April 22nd, 2011

photo swiped from this womans blog.. 

truth be told.. I didn’t even know it was earth day.. facebook is really good at keeping me in the “loop” for certain holidays ;) between my old canadian ones.. and these new american-o ones.. (hello Presidents Day!) its hard to keep up.. 

I have decided to make my paska tomorrow.. there just wasn’t enoughtime energy to get to the grocery store yesterday..  and I have also decided to use organic fruit zest.. who knows.. maybe it will taste a bit richer?

I walked around in a bubble yesterday.. a surreal.. I may have a “normal” birth bubble.. it feels really foreign to just wait for labor.. cause now I have to actually know what those signs are.. I pulled out the old What to Expect book out.. and of course my google search engine.. but it blows my mind to think it could happen at any time :0 

I have one last trip to the Canada’s planned for Easter.. and the thought of packing makes me want to crawl back into bed.. and the drive.. oh the drive.. my poor hips.. this time I will NOT be forgetting my body pillow.. and it hopefully wont drain the crap out of me with the whole fam running around.. but we will see.. 

our mini easter egg hunt last year :)

ok.. time to pack.. 

today.. I attempt this..

mennonite half scottish girls can cook.. 

photo from this blog I follow.. 

Paska!

I heart Hooper..

thank you to this woman.. I love them! 

and some of my favs :)

             

        

  

le sigh…

April 21st, 2011

I am blogging.. which means I am not having a baby! which makes me very happy.. I was nervous! I was up at 5am because I couldn’t sleep.. and my mind kept racing with different thoughts..

this could be the babys birthday..

should I bring my bag?

is my camera packed?

am I having another c section today?

it was bad.. my stomach was hurting.. and I was glad I was so rushed getting Olive to Bostons and getting me to the dr.. that I was forced to stop thinking about it.. the woman was really nice.. and I got more 3d pics! i almost told her to stop.. cause I have so many photos I don’t know what to do with them!  I was trying not to barf on the table while she scanned away.. and then the dreaded walk out of the room.. while I sat there wondering how long she would be gone.. timing is everything.. with Olive.. she was out of the room for 45 minutes! I paced the dark little nook wondering what was going on.. and than the dreaded words.. 

can you please wait in the waiting room.. 

this time she came back.. and asked me to lie back down.. I almost crapped my pants.. but she had just missed the heart rate and my kidneys.. phew.. then I was sent home.. I walked to my car beaming.. because in this case.. no news is good news.. although I did find out that my sweet chubby little baby is 5lbs 14oz..  that brought me and my VBAC vagina some comfort ;) she was so wiggly at this appointment.. that she couldn’t photograph her toes because she was wiggling them so much..  and she had her hands up by her face and was trying to open her eyes.. 

I am ready to meet this sweet little lady anytime!! (preferably after 37 weeks though)..  and I have a huge sense of relief that she is already at 5lb 14oz.. becuase we brought Olive home at 5lbs 11oz so anything bigger is better!!

35…

April 20th, 2011

gulp.. today I am 35 weeks preg-nanto.. it blows my mind.. and I love that it flew by so fast..  my pregnant “partner in crime” just had her final shift last night.. and now I am solo in the pregnant at work department.. I am the last of the 3 of us.. bittersweet..(who do I complain with?!)  today is my final day for getting stuff done.. and I do believe I may have accomplished it.. with major success due to the fact that Dustin was nesting himself on Monday!! 

my body feels like it cant stretch anymore.. I don’t know how week 37-40 will feel..  it also makes me sad that there will be no more comparison photos after that.. my appointment is tomorrow and I am beyond nervous!!I am praying that my fluid levels are normal.. and my baby is not suffocating in there.. and I know this one is large and in charge.. and I cannot wait to hear just how big she is!!

Olive is either doing great.. or doing a great job at fooling me lately.. but she seems to be ready for her “seester” to come.. she likes to sit in her room and point out all her things.. and talk to her.. and we now brush her seesters teeth in the morning.. (gross I know) but I think she may go into shock when she learns that there is a real baby in there.. and it will cry and breastfeed and need attention.. 

for now.. her dollys get in on the swing action!

time to wrap up my last day of getting things done.. paint some Easter eggs.. and head to a park.. this sunshine makes me want to move my body!!

35

first..

April 19th, 2011

we celebrated our first anniversary in Portland.. and it was good.. but I am thinking we should have stuck to Seattle ;)  the bumpy ride there.. all four hours of it.. was insane on my body.. I tweaked my hip.. which set off my back.. which gave me insane Braxton Hicks the whole drive down.. please note I wrote.. the whole ride down.. it was wild.. I almost took my pants off ;) 

the hotel was amazing! built into an old building.. sitting across the street from a three story H&M ;) and everything was very old fashioned.. 

we checked in and Dust had us upgrade to the club level!! hello free everything! coffee.. water.. teas.. drinks.. and all day food.. mmm.. every preggos dream :) we rested up a bit with a nice San Pallegrino while my baby finally simmered down.. and then headed over to the Deschutes Brewery.. 

we ordered anything and everything.. I was giving my diabetes a little slack because I couldnt have any alcohol.. so I thought.. why not have food ;) and ate we did.. they had really good food and dust was able to get his micro brew drink on.. 

I even ordered a dessert and only took two bites out of it.. ok.. maybe three bites.. it was amazing.. and everything was made in store.. and I loves me some salted caramel.. 

we tried to walk around the city.. which was rendering difficult for me.. so we went back to the hotel and chilled some more.. trying to decide where to go for dinner.. 

needless to say.. there was no tandum bike ride around the city.. and the voodoo donut place I was dreaming of for the last 2 weeks was closed for renovations.. seriously.. starting April 16th :S.. 

In the time I was gone.. 2 of my “May club” ladies had their babies!! and I was scared I may be having a little April baby of my own!! the weather held out for us and we even received lots of sunshine. which was perfect for this pale face.. and I’m not talkin about a vampire here ;)

we wrapped up our trip with one of the best eggs benedict I have EVER tasted.. everything was made in house.. including the best sourdough engish muffin I have ever put in this mouth.. 

this was their lobby.. it felt like a resort.. this place had everything you needed.. including the awesome brunch we took down!

the drive home was as great as the drive there.. and I am very happy to be safely nesting in my home.. with my bath tub.. and my body pillow.. I have one more trip to Canada planned for Easter.. and then I am parking my buns here in the Americas until this baby comes! Dust woke up yesterday with his own nesting urges.. because we got things DONE! car seats installed.. nursery is finished.. hospital bag is only missing the last minute things.. camera and clothes.. and we are ready to go! it feels amazing..  I am trying to pick an I-am-not-working-another-second-date..  and I will sit at home and take in these last moments with my little lady.. 

ahh.. bittersweet.. 

sneak peek…

this was my belly.. the whole trip.. large and very much in charge..  strong braxton hick contractions the whole way there.. the whole way back.. and everything in between.. I though for sure I was having a little Oregon baby.. needless to say I did not get my bike stroll that I wanted.. and voodoo donuts was closed for renovations!! you guessed it.. starting April 16th :(  

this mama is going to bed!!

04/16/2010

04/16/2011

one year ago today.. I was.. well.. I was sleeping.. in a giant king size bed facing the blue waters and sandy beaches.. dreaming of my jalapeno and cheese omelet that I would be smothering in mexican salsa.. I was wondering how my hair and make up was going to turn out at the little mexican salon.. wondering where my dress was when I got back from getting my makeup done.. and then marrying Dustin.. just the way I wanted.. simple.. casual.. us.. 

it was perfect.. and I wouldnt have changed a thing.. 

**except a few key warm bodies that were missing.. although you were definitely there in spirit.. 

one year down.. 50+ to go.. 

love you dustin ronald george haffner-bruce :)

04/16…

April 15th, 2011

tomorrow is our 1st anniversary!  and while I thought I would already have a 6 month old and we would be sunning in beautiful Mexico.. fate took a different approach and now we are pregnant and going to Portland for the first time! “gramma" and "bandi" are on their way down as we speak.. and we leave tomorrow morning.. ASAP! 

ahh.. walks.. bicycles.. coffee shops.. food.. voodoo donuts.. king size bed.. and shopping.. 

bring it on!

34..

April 13th, 2011

today.. I am 34 weeks! there is something about this number that freaks my freak.. when I was 30.. 10 weeks felt like forever away.. and now 34 weeks is only 6 weeks away.. and if I have to have a C section.. its only 5 weeks away.. and if these contractions turn into anything crazy.. it could be even sooner :0

I think my morning belly lube stirred up the baby belly. because I don’t know what is going on with this belly shot! 

I have dropped another shift at work.. and am officially at 1 day a week.. and it has been really hard to cope with this decision.. but my hips are done.. the head is low and sits in my pelvis while I run around and by the end of the night I can barely make it upstairs.. so.. I quit.. I am still trying to push through yoga every couple days.. and we are getting out and walking in this nice weather.. but it is time to take care of thesebag of bones before the newest little one is here.. 

I have one week left until my own personal “have everything done by 35 weeks” list is complete.. 

• install car seat and base
• order stroller
• gift for Olive to give to baby.. and vice versa
• going home outfit

I don’t know why I still don’t have her going home outfit planned.. I spent months wondering what I would bring Olive home in .. and if you recall from past blog posts.. it of course didn’t fit.. so she came home in newborn pants that were swimming on her.. the hospital t shirt and scratch mittens on her feet.. I found my old “birth plan” sheets that I had print out and wrote.. and I was dying!! it was elaborate and intense.. and almost nothing on it happened.. ironic much.. so this time we are riding the wave with a bit more casualty and seeing what happens.. my dr changed my appointment date to 35 weeks (instead of 37) for my size/position appointment. just to be safe.. and because that was the day that I went to my “quick" drs appt.. then I was going on mat leave and getting groceries and chilling for 3 weeks.. (small change in plans) it freaks me out.. and I will be bringing my hospital bag to this one! 

time to take advantage of these mini bursts of energy that surge through my body.. time to lean.. time to clean ;)

I think the belly is finally catching up!

34