flashback.. circa 2005

January 18th, 2011

I woke up this morning with the most peaceful image.. with this second baby on the way.. and trying to embrace the changes of being a mama of two.. I have been thinking back to the beginning of the relationship a lot.. I know that it will never go back there.. but I have been thinking about things we used to do.. 

and the first image in my head was of me and Dust scurrying across the street in Belletown.. him holding my hand. it was just becoming evening.. and the sky was a dark blue.. we were not safely crossing the street to get to the restaurant on the other side.. we were rushing over.. avoiding traffic.. jaywalking.. and it was almost whimsical.. which is how most first events are after getting back together after a 5 month hiatus.. hair flowing so movie-like that you almost swear it was long and covered in sparkles.. he had been living in Seattle for a while.. and this was my first visit down.. and i remember being so nervous.. and was I making the right decision.. and I had never been to Seattle before.. but it all felt so right.. and it felt like I had lived here my whole life.. I remember just knowing my way around the city.. I will never forget the first restaurant we ate at.. Black Bottle.. dark.. candles.. tapas bar.. big glasses of red wine.. in other words.. romantic.. I remember those feelings when everything was magical.. looking at each other.. brushing against one another.. sharing food.. my heart strings were locked in place.. you cant even remember who or what was around you.. because nothing mattered.. it was just the two of us.. sitting there.. re connecting.. I never got tired.. I could stay up for hours talking.. life was carefree.. sixty dollar bottles of wine were always ordered.. life was thoroughly enjoyed.. 

this image woke me up out of my sleep.. out of no where.. that lust for one another that gets lost in the hub of changing diapers.. and just yearning for some alone time.. but at the same time it was comforting.. because I know that one day.. we will be back there.. sharing food over candles.. except now.. we will tell stories of our babies.. and work.. and real life.. and we will hopefully be in Italy celebrating our ten year in style!

table for two..