sleep..

May 31st, 2011

I realize that not to many people DO function on no sleep.. but I really don’t do well.. I forgot about it with Olives pregnancy.. but last night was our first “rough”night.. and not rough by some peoples standards.. but it was to mine.. the little stinker was up from 4-6:30.. wide awake.. and wanting the boob.. my sore cracked bleeding boob.. it was awful.. the day was then followed by a Drs appt.. and it disrupted my stay at home order.. I like my home these days.. its my safety net.. 

unfortunately this baby is not gaining enough weight.. :( I hope its not an Olive part 2.. but now we have to get her up to her birth weight in 4 days.. 12 ounces in 4 days.. I can do it .. right?! right?!  we will see.. dust is out buying formula to top her off after each feeding.. I don’t think i can milk myself anymore than I already do.. so I hope it works.. 

thankfully I have had two friends provide our family dinner the last two nights.. it feels weird and amazing! I have never had anyone cook for me like this before.. and it is so thoughtful.. AND the food has been AMAZING!! bacon cheese quiche and a pan of brownies.. yes please! I also feel really bad that I have never done this for anyone before.. I don’t consider myself a good cook.. so I never thought it would be helpful to give people badly cooked food ;) but it may be time to jazz up my recipes and make myself useful to others!!

this isnt hers.. but it looks just as amazing! I dug into hers to fast to take a picture ;)

ahhh.. my first born :)

one week..

May 30th, 2011

this picture is posted a couple days late.. but we celebrated none the less!! we kept up the “tradition” of a cupcake to celebrate her first week in the world.. Olive was the most pumped out of everyone.. little sister = cake!! yes please.. I have been treating myself all week to the wonderous foods I had to go without for the last 22 weeks.. can you say chocolate pop tarts anyone!!

her looks are already changing.. and its crazy how fast we slip out of newborn stage.. which I am personally ok with.. I am more of a 3-4 month kind of gal..  she is wiggling her way quite nicely into our family.. and Olive couldn’t be more pleased.. of course we have our moments where I am trying to milk myself.. the baby needs her soother.. Olive has to go to the potty for the third time in half an hour and if I watch another episode of Caillou I might scream.. but that’s the sour to the sweet right!! right!!??

I am starting to see more “Bruce” in her.. and I am pleased to announce that her bangs that come down to her eyebrows is finally starting to receed ;)

how I name my babies..

there is nothing more special then naming your loved ones.. its something you think about forever and hope it matches their personality and spunk and the way they look at you for the first time out of your womb.. 

Olive was named years before we even conceived.. when we were living the child free dream in Seattle ;) we would walk down town every week and cross Olive Way.. and every single time we passed it.. I commented on how much I loved it and if I ever had a girl.. that would be her name.. Dustin cringed.. there was “NO WAY”.. and then Miss. Isla Fisher named her little gem Olive and I feared it would start a celebrity trend.. thankfully.. not so much.. I still remember lying on the table getting our 5 month ultrasound done and she asked if we wanted to know what this little one was.. 

ITS A GIRL!

I just looked at Dustin and grinned.. while he shook his head no.. ;) of course he learned to fall in love with the name over the next 4 months.. and I promised him that he could name our next baby.. ( I already knew the name of our next one.. so it was an easy promise to make)  Barbara was of course to honour his mama.. and it just flowed so beautifully.. it was meant to be.. 

Olive Barbara Haffner-Bruce

and now there is our newest addition.. Brixton was a name Dustin had kept in his pocket since he lived in London at the ripe old age of 20 I believe.. I remember him mentioning it to me in the dating stages of our relationship.. (there may have been booze involved that opened the vault)  and I loved it right away.. I had always envisioned it as a boy name.. but once we learned we were having another little girl.. I loved it even more for a little lady.. it was really hard not to share the name.. because I like to share everything.. its really hard for me to keep info like that on the down low.. but because this had been in his pocket for 15 years.. I knew I had to respect his wishes to keep it private.. her little name was going to be Brixton Vada.. that was until I was lying on the operating table.. bargaining for my future.. and having a huge moment where I realized I may only have two babies.. and then they brought her around the blue curtain on the way to the cleaning table.. and I just knew it wasn’t her name.. it was wild.. I had never experienced anything like it.. he was never a fan of Vada anyways.. but when I told him.. he agreed.. we were debating between Georgia and George.. Dustin’s family name he was passed down is George.. and we were saving it for a boy.. but I didn’t know if we would ever have a third.. let alone another boy.. and I just fell in love with it right on the table.. I worried it might be to man.. but once I saw it on paper.. I loved it even more.. and as I came to learn.. one of Barbies good friends and golf buddies was named Georgina.. and everyone called her George.. it was all falling into place.. 

Brixton George Haffner-Bruce.. 

now our babies hold a special name from Dustins side.. and carry a special part of me with my last name from my side.. 

the start of something good!! 

my hospital stay..

May 28th, 2011

this hospital stay was a lot different then my previous.. I took in more.. I ate more.. I drank more.. I asked for more help.. with Olive the vicodin knocked me on my ass.. but this time I lowered my dosage and didn’t put to much pressure on doing things.. that’s what my $4000 nurses were for ;)

on the first night I could feel the anxiety roll in.. my legs were still numb.. I couldn’t walk to the bathroom.. I had the catheter.. but they always freak me out.. I knew that it was just sleep that was making me feel that way.. so I cat napped whenever and wherever I could.. thankfully Brixton allowed that.. even with the nurses coming in every 20 minutes.. I slept.. 

I just took this little lady in as much as I could.. I knew this was my only time with her before we took her home.. and I wanted it all.. I didn’t want to share.. I knew home would be trying to balance Olive and her needs.. feeding.. recovering.. so this stay.. I just stared at her.. and fed her.. it was beautiful.. one thing I have noticed with Brixton is that her voice recognition of me and Dustin is wild..  even Dust came over in the OR and said that she just knew his voice.. something we may have just never noticed with Olive.. 

the next day we waited the arrival of the big sister.. I was nervous..  crying hurts when you have a c section.. and I didn’t know if I had the strength to not cry if there was a “problem”.. we had the camera ready.. and waited for her little strut to come into the room.. normally she is terrified of hospitals and Drs.. but I wouldn’t have noticed it this time.. 

"moooooooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy"

and she ran over.. and she had her build a bear and balloonies for her sister.. she gave hugs.. and was so excited to see us! it melted my heart.. 

all she wants to do is give her kisses.. and hugs.. and put the soother in her mouth.. she stayed for an hour.. and she got her present from her little sister.. and she played.. and it was so nice.. even when she left.. there were no tears.. the chocolate bribery may have had something to do with it ;) but it worked!! and I was saved the tears.. 

Its funny because of all my hospital fears.. it was none of the same bad things that happened.. this time my catheter caused a problem.. and I couldn’t go to the bathroom.. I guess they took it out to early? and because Brixton had fluid mucous build up in her lungs.. we kept waking up to her gagging.. trying to get it out.. and then she was barfing up all my “liquid gold” and as we were dressed and packed up waiting for discharge.. she started to barf and then inhaled it.. and thank God the nurse was in the room at the time.. because she started to aspirate it.. and was choking.. and this whole ordeal lasted a good 5 minutes.. while I was lying on a bed helpless and couldn’t get up to help her.. it was awful.. just minutes before I confidently was leaving the hospital.. this happened.. and shattered it all.. they asked us to stick around for a little bit to make sure she was ok.. but the next 2 days at home we just followed her around with a nose bulb waiting for it to happen again.. 

once home.. my feet turned into watermelons! it was like nothing I had ever seen.. even during pregnancy.. I had some water in my ankles after work.. or just being on my feet to much.. but the fluid that pooled in my feet was scary.. the nurse hotline said it was from the iv fluid and takes up to 2 weeks to go away.. and I am waiting.. patiently to have my feet back.. 

and now we are home.. and adjusting.. and getting over breastfeeding hurdles.. and trying to find the good in each moment.. Olive is loving her little sister.. and helping with her soother.. and yesterday when she wouldn’t take it.. Olive just started crying because she was so upset that she wasn’t helping.. it broke my heart.. because she was trying so hard..  there hasn’t been any acting out.. yet.. but she is definitely vying for our attention.. she talks talks talks all day about anything and everything.. mom.. mom.. mom.. mom..  

ok.. back to finding balance ;)

for the first time ever.. we found her sleeping on the ground.. so precious!

my personal hell.. (part 2)

these words were muttered over and over again in my head.. because it really is my own personal hell.. lying helpless on a bed.. with no feeling in my body from my chest down.. while someone has to tell me over and over again that I am in fact breathing.. is like death to me.. 

the choice was made.. 8:45pm.. I surrendered to the thought of a c section.. I knew I didn’t have it in me to go 12 more hours.. the doctor came in .. and was of course game for it! and literally within minutes.. my IV was hooked back up to the saline.. things were happening.. the ball was rolling.. the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me and make me sign the “death waver”.. it was probably for the best that it happened that quick.. she started to explain to me the procedure.. and I just asked her to stop.. i told her my anxiety and fears.. and i told her that this to me was torture.. with Olives birth I held it all in.. and it got me no where.. so I thought I had nothing to lose by telling this incredibly nice woman that I was sinking.. and so this woman became my safety line.. she talked about the drugs she could give me.. that wouldn’t make to sick or nauseous.. I told her I needed to remember everything.. and the thought of feeling groggy scared me.. within 10 minutes I was walking into the surgery room.. by myself.. hysterically bawling.. i couldn’t hold it in.. my C section dr looked at me with a surprised face.. I am hoping it was because he realized that I was really hoping for a different outcome.. and it wasn’t all about the “easy way out”.. they started the spinal and I just started to pray.. and ask for help to get through this.. and I asked for Barbie to look over us.. and I started bargaining my life options and things I would do better and give up if they could all just get me through this next hour.. out of the operating room and into my new room.. my new room on the 4th floor that meant I was now a C section patient.. not a happy 3rd floor vaginal patient.. 

and so the procedure started.. and the anesthesiologist ( i wish I could remember her name.. lets call her Pam).. and so Pam comforted me.. and talked to me until Dustin was allowed in.. she talked to me about what was going on in the room.. and where we were at.. I stared up and counted wall tiles over and over and over again.. and if I was talking out loud.. than I was alive.. and so I talked.. as though no one was in the room with me.. I talked to Barbie.. and I talked to God and I talked to Olive and our newest addition that wasn’t here yet.. when Dustin finally joined me I had a little sense of relief.. I felt more tugging this time.. more pressure.. it was a longer procedure than with Olive.. Pam took my head and lifted the little blue flap and told me to look to the right.. I was about to see my second daughter for the first time.. and there she was.. in someones arms.. naked and bloody.. and just stared at me.. and I just stared at her large body.. it was like nothing I had ever seen before.. they all gasped when she was finally weighed.. 8lbs 14 oz was her final birth weight.. I didn’t hear a lot of crying.. there was some gargles.. and she was put on her stomach because she had to much fluid gunk in her body.. and they said she just lied there.. content and mellow.. I told Dustin I wanted him over there with her.. she needed her daddy.. she needed someones familiar voice.. Pam then took my head in her hands and turned it towards them.. and told me how lucky I was that he was her daddy.. and I just saw Dustin stroking her head and whispering things into her ears that I will never know what was said.. I just started to cry.. 

I heard my doctor and nurses talking about how if I had labored for 12 more hours.. it wouldn’t have been good.. my scar was ok for now.. but what would more time have done.. I also heard them talk about how I would have ended up in a section anyways  because of her size.. it was a comforting relief to know that  I saved myself 12 hours of pain.. because once my mind mentally crossed over to the c section route.. the contractions that came were more intense.. and hard to get through.. I truly believe it was mind over matter and that point.. and once I gave up.. they were unbearable.. 

and then they brought my baby girl over to meet me.. 

and she stuck her tongue out at me.. this time was so much more different then with olive.. It took me a good month to fall head over heels with her.. but this was instant.. this was the instant love that i had heard so many mamas talk about.. but never knew what they meant by it..  this connection was insane.. I just talked to her and whispered to her.. and told her about our future plans that I had for her.. I told her that she was so loved and that we have waited for her for so long.. I felt like our family was now complete.. and I remembered how the valet boys and nurses in the hospital always said how glowing and happy I was for someone who was due in a week.. and I said to them.. I never thought I would have one baby.. and now I get two! as much as I complained in the end.. of my hip pain and back pain.. I knew how grateful I was to have these two pregnancies and babies.. 

Our baby girl had always been named Brixton.. there was no doubt about that.. but her middle name was up in the air.. I had ones I loved.. but I really wanted to see her face.. when i saw it for the first time.. I knew my original names just weren’t the ones.. Dustin middle family name that was passed down was George.. which we were saving for if we had a boy.. but I knew in that moment that we don’t know our fate or how many babies we will be given.. and I told him there on the table that I wanted to use it for this little one.. my babies already have my last name that they will have until/if they get married.. and so George it was.. 

they wheeled me out of the OR and I just looked up at Pam many times.. and told her how grateful I was that she was my anesthesiologist.. and that she was there in the room with me.. and how helpful she was.. and I couldn’t have done it without her.. she even came to stop by and see me at 5am the next morning.. and shook my hand.. and told me she just wanted to make sure I was ok.. it felt really nice.. 

we settled into our new room and just slept.. and enjoyed this little baby.. this content baby who let us sleep 5 full hours in a row.. it was amazing.. 

chocolate cake should be served at every meal after having a baby ;)

I had a mix of energy and adrenaline and anxiety surging through my body.. it was wild.. I just took more of this stay in.. I slept and ate and wasnt afraid to ask my nurses for some help.. I wanted to make this stay as enjoyable as I could.. and we had to get ready for Brixton to meet her big sister Olive.. 

lets start at the beginning.. (part 1)

May 25th, 2011

today I would have been 40 weeks! instead.. I am finally sitting on the couch. trying to find the balance of big sister and little sister.. emotional highs and lows.. and an insatiable hunger..

Brixtons birth story began Thursday night.. the contractions were close together.. the family was called.. the wheels were set in motion.. thankfully triage told me to stay home until they were a bit closer.. and back to bed we went. with Auntie Jen sleeping on the couch.. and the Canadian calls had been made.. when I woke in the morning, they had subside.. and I thought it was another cry wolf story.. but the fam was coming.. and we were ready.. 

classic middle of the night shot.. 

it was the most beautiful May day and I was able to labor at home.. which is what I wanted.. we walked.. we cleaned.. we talked about the baby coming.. it was perfect.. I was resorting to the nipple stimulation.. and I even bought some red rasp tea.. I was getting desperate.. we sat in the sun and dreamed of how my story would turn out.. 

life was good.. 

fast forward to 1am.. woken out of my sleep with contractions that were every 3-4 minutes.. um.. ok.. lets do this.. packed up our goods and headed to the hospital.. triage checked me in and confirmed my water had broken.. although I had been leaking for days.. so we didn’t know the exact time.. they monitored my close contractions and admit me right away to my room..  room 320 would be my home for the next 24 hours.. maybe longer.. my hospital was great.. they encouraged walking around.. balls.. rocking chairs.. squats.. I tried it all.. because my water had broke.. they wanted to do as little checking as possible.. so we still never had a dilation number.. but I knew not to aim to high.. because this was considered my “first labor”.. and so I paced the hallways.. and I paced.. and walked.. and started to learn all the nurses names.. and shift change overs.. and watch/hear others have their babies.. it was a giant ball of nerves and excitement.. I knew that no matter how this journey ended.. thisis what I wanted.. contractions.. pain.. labor.. and teamwork from my coaches.. It was purely magical.. there are no other words to explain it.. I knew that this may be my last baby I ever have.. and this was my only time at having a shot to do this.. and I did it!

from 1am until who knows when.. I tried to get this baby dilating.. so when the Dr came in at 11am and told me I wasn’t even a 1.. I crumbled a little bit.. I knew I had a long ways to go.. and because I was trying for a VBAC.. I wasn’t allowed food.. so  my dinner at 7pm that night previous was looking farther and farther away.. I was sustaining off of apple juice sips because of the diabetes and low sugar.. on top of contraction focusing.. I was trying to block out my desire for food.. my arms ached because of the 4 IV tries.. my veins just didn’t want them in.. and so before even starting.. I had two sore arms that were already forming bruises.. 

I tried everything.. and I mean everything.. I sacrificed sleep so that I could do more laps.. I pulled out the squat bar.. and just tried to get my baby down.. nothing was working.. I also unfortunately did not have a supportive doctor on my side.. I had a c section pusher.. and he pushed.. and I  pushed right back.. right from the get go.. he told me how unsafe my decision was.. and he would just get one and that I can back out at any time..

thankfully on my side.. I had a great nurse crew who was rooting for a VBAC and she was almost shaming him right in front of my.. our little baby was being a rock star.. and if I hadn’t had a c section previous.. we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.. i would be a poor first time mama.. who was going to labor a long time.. 

1 cm.. gulp

Me Dustin and Tiffany had this great system down of contractions.. and hip rubs.. and lower back rubs.. and I mentally and physically was doing great.. there was no talk of epidurals.. they knew I wanted to try as natural as possible.. for as long as possible.. 

I could feel myself starting to lose hope.. and so I sent out a few SOS signals to my lady friends.. I needed emotional support.. and I needed it now.. what those woman text back to me were so vital at those moments.. the positive way they made me feel.. I felt like I was on top of the world.. I was going on 19 hours of no food.. 3 days of no sleep.. and I was starting to stray from my birth plan.. there were moments so low that I wondered how people freakin do this! how do they go 24 hours with no food.. no energy.. crashing sugars and push out a baby.. cause Lord knows I wasn’t the first of my kind.. but in that moment.. I felt like I was..

then.. while out walking.. my nurse came to get me.. my baby was having a little moment.. and I needed to rest.. it was really hard mentally for me to wrap my head around.. I had NO problem pushing my body to the limit.. but not this was affecting her.. it threw me into an immediate anxiety attack.. hard core.. vision blurred.. numb arms.. sick to my stomach feeling that I had done something wrong.. 

my focus was gone.. then in swept my doctor to again tell me that I can “back out at any time”.. and I asked if she was in danger.. and he said she wasn’t.. it happens.. babies get excited.. but if he were me.. yada yada yada.. I needed a breather.. we sat and evaluated my options.. and agreed on doing one more round of contractions.. (3 hours) and then basing the decision on that reading.. I was still only an almost 2 at this point.. but I was hopeful that once I was fully epahsed.. the baby would drop.. and it would be game time..  and so we waited some more.. and my mind started reeling even more.. words like pitocin were thrown around.. and some procedure to monitor how strong my contractions were was offered.. but I didn’t like any of them.. I asked my 2 coaches to leave and I needed to talk to the nurse one on one.. I expressed my opinions of the dr on her.. and asked her opinion.. and just tried to grasp what was happening.. we looked at every aspect.. and they let me know it would be at least another 10-12 hours of labor.. and even then.. it may still end in a c section.. time was not on my side being a VBAC.. and I started to sway my opinion on things.. I asked the dr to leave.. and started to think about what I possessed as a woman.. what I had in me.. and how much farther I could go.. it was a very humbling experience of mind over matter.. and walking the walk..  it had been 3 days of no sleep.. we were now on 20 hours of no food.. and sips of apple juice.. I could hear these excuses in my head.. but I knew I had to focus on things other then my original plan.. and so I finally came to peace with the choice I made..

I was going to have a c section.. (8:45pm)

one year..

May 19th, 2011

One year ago today.. I was on my way to this!

pure European bliss!! its funny because me and Dustin were just talking two nights ago about this trip.. subconsciously unaware that it was almost a year ago we were on our honeymoon..

at this time.. my baby was dropped off at the g-units.. we had gone for some drinks at Bostons.. because that’s what you do when you don’t have a child ;) you go enjoy a bar somewhere.. even though I was fighting a massive head cold and dreading what the cabin pressure would do to my brain.. 

little did we know that bbQ was also starting to make his way into this world!! so little Winston joined us for our morning preparation of Dustin packing (always last minute :0) me bouncing between “are we going to die on the plane!” or oh my f*^$#*&&% god.. I am going to Greece again! I can barely sit still in my own skin!!

ahh mykonos.. little venice.. and $8.00 bottles of water ;)

I always knew I had some connection with Greece.. although.. don’t we all ;) but I knew once I was on the island of Mykonos.. that I would return.. there is something about that place that must be enjoyed by every soul on this planet.. at least a couple times a month.. I have thought about walking the streets there.. the little white lights that twinkle.. the frappe coffees.. the food.. oh Lord the food!! the energy.. and just the soul that these islands possess are insane! even when you weren’t doing anything.. you were doing something.. 

so this time last year.. I was waiting to go on my honeymoon.. heartbroken that we would miss the birth of a sweet little baby.. and praying that the volcano didn’t erupt while I was in flight.. 

what I wouldnt give to be there again.. in child free honeymoon’d euphoria.. but alas I sit here.. waiting to have my own little baby.. (I am keeping my legs crossed ALL day lu ;).. playing the labor waiting game.. and sending a shout out to baby Quentin who gets to celebrate his day in the sun!!

we wish we were in Canada to celebrate with you!! 

spring has sprung..

39..

May 18th, 2011

Today I am 39 weeks gestation.. and I have been doing everyone a favor by not spewing my thoughts all over this page ;)  I think it is safe to say that 37-40 weeks is the hardest.. it didn’t help that I went on maternity leave.. stopped my yoga and told my diet to piss off.. there is no better words for that diet.. it lasted a week and a half.. and I realized how sluggish I was.. my sugar crashes were out of control and I feel like a balloon animal.. so this morning I woke up at 7am.. yoga’d the crap out of my body.. and am swearing off ice cream ;) ok.. the last one may be a lie.. but I have come to far to crap my body out now!!

I am on these highs of total freakin labor excitement!! and then lows of I will be pregnant forever.. I get the woman that say this out loud now.. my days consist of surviving with my 2 and a half year old.. trying to get out of the house.. living for our naps.. and reading before bed.. while breathing through some contractions.. all the while begging Dustin via text to please come home before 7!! and apparently now I am a leaky faucet.. who knew the wild things that can happen to a womans body after 37 weeks!

I am trying to take in the excitement of “if I only ever have 2 babies.. this is my final pregnancy moments” and “dear Lord.. I dont think my stomach can stretch anymore”

balance.. 

at least I have this little cutie to help distract me with her potty times.. her song and dances.. her new favorite “lipstick”.. lunches and my favorite.. “luv you mamas”

and this is what I think this newest addition is going to look like .. 

that’s me! in the hospital.. with a really big shirt on ;)

39

where are the spaceships mama?

"where are the space ships mama??!!"

ahh. shes all mine!

"where are the space ships mama??!!"

ahh. shes all mine!

canadian chicks rule!

I showered.. we had a rain shower.. then we celebrated my shower..

May 15th, 2011

my first diaper cake :)

whew.. that’s a whole lot of showers for one day!! Today was my baby shower.. and I felt the love!  we gathered.. we ate.. we caught up.. we ate some more.. (there is one cupcake left staring at me from across the room that has my name on it ;) my baby was spoiled.. and now.. I rest.. while my legs continue to buzz..

there is something so sweet about receiving gifts from your loved ones that are such a reflection of yourself and your soon to be baby.. everything we received were things that I had either thought of buying.. or had in my hand and wanted to buy.. or just because they know that Spotted Cow is my favorite local coffee shop.. 

to be honest.. I never thought I was making it to this shower.. I 100% thought my bundle would be here.. but alas.. she is not.. although I still have a couple of hours ;)  I feel like now this child can come.. Olive was very confused why the “peasants” coming into the house were not for her.. so daddy took her to Toys r Us  to get a treater of her own.. I always love seeing what they will come home with.. in this case.. a Thomas the train cell phone.. and her first.. gulp.. purse.. and she freakin loves it.. keys.. lipstick.. and a comb that all fit nicely inside.. 

ok. do these new giant lips have to go away!! I am lovin them.. 

Thank you to everyone who came.. especially those who hopped on a plane from Utah.. thank you for the love and surprises.. Thank you to James and Dom for the fun party! and the decorations that I am SO leaving up for the next couple of days..  

ok.. time to rest :)

blue valentine..

May 14th, 2011

I seriously cant stop thinking about this movie.. I finally watched it..  it was almost impossible to find a theater..  and then when it did come.. I couldn’t get a sitter.. but last night.. it was on comcast.. and I shut the computer.. turned down the monitor ;) grabbed some body pillows.. and enjoyed.. 

it was insane.. I felt like I was intruding on someones life.. watching their story.. like it shouldn’t have been witnessed by me.. I keep thinking about it today as though it were my friends story.. and not a movie. 

phew.. its going to need another watch.. 

this photo FREAKS MY FREAK!!.. it is very rarely that I see myself in my child.. and this photo has me written all over it.. its wild.. and that face!! I am in trouble.. the independence is finally creeping out of her.. and she is starting to decide which shoes to wear.. what lunch she wants to eat.. and things she wants to do.. and now when I make a promise to get her in the car.. 

come on olive.. we will go home and play sidewalk chalk!!

the second we walk in the door.. “ok mom.. lets play sidewalk chalk”  

gulp

week 38..

May 11th, 2011

ok.. week 38.. here we go.. this whole week of unchartered terriotory has mean a  couple things to me.. 

• severe hip pain
• no sleep
• crazy hunger
• brushing my teeth went on my to do list.. ;)

the one that hurts the most is the no sleep.. which is caused by hip pain.. which keeps me up and because my body wanted dairy at 2am.. its all full circle people! this belly is so infront of my.. that it hurts to roll over.. which I do every 15 minutes.. I finally (literally) cried myself to sleep last night at 4am.. yes.. 4am.. that is 5 hours of ye old tossin and turnin.. 

now onto something positive ;)  my quality time with Olive has been unmeasurable.. when I can feel my hormonies getting heated up.. or she wants to organize all the shelves at the grocery store for 15 minutes per aisle.. when I normally would have lost my marbles and swore off shopping until bed time.. now I let her enjoy it.. help re arrange the canned goods.. and move onto the next aisle.. of course there have been a few “want some treaters!!??” thrown in along the way to speed things up.. usually when we hit the baby/diaper/toy aisle.. but I know the last thing we both need is her world changing and me becoming a snapping lunatic.. ( I now just save that for the husband)  haha

so she is getting extra cuddles.. later bed times.. and a couple extra treats along the way.. but it was all worth it when we were sitting outside playing with sidewalk chalk yesterday.. and she turned to me.. put her hand in the air and smiled big..

its fun mama!!

who is that child!!??

this is pretty much what I am capable of these days..

May 10th, 2011

sunshine.. beautiful sunshine!! it was actually pouring through my shirt and tanning my belly! it was wild.. sunscreen time!  these days trying to get Olive out of the house as much as I would like has been a challenge.. so today we resort to hanging out in front.. with the sidewalk chalk.. picking flowers while mom enjoyed some Azuls chips n salsa.. 

if you could have only seen me.. I was definaltely a sight for sore eyes.. jack daniels work t shirt (belly hanging out the bottom).. green santa pj pants..  and a pair of ray bans.. hot! of course two neighbours came over to say hello :S  of course.. but these days I am all about comfort.. 

daddy work.. mama and baby seester and Olive with “red hair”..

ok.. never mind the fact that she is smokin’ cute and doing her own shopping.. is that a grocery list holder built into their grocery carts!!??

England thinks of everything!!

chocolate beans..

May 09th, 2011

Mexican for dinner!!.. she has always loved beans.. but apparently if you tell her black beans are chocolate beans.. she eats everything in sight ;) yes please!

i am resorting to spicing this baby out ;) last night was Indian and tonight Mexican.. with that being said.. Saturday night was the first time ever I sent Dustin out on a 2am run.. for tums.. I felt bad.. but even trying to sleep sitting up on a couch wasnt working :0

Mothers Day 2011

today was my third mothers day.. I count the gestational period that Olive was in my belly for a month as one of them ;)  and I am feeling the love.. I woke up.. showered alone with no “mom.. look at this”.. Dust took care of the getting her ready part.. and I was feeling good considering the 6 hours sleep I received.. 

we headed out for brunch and Olive was beyond perfect.. it was wild.. I think she knew it was a special day.. our server was hilarious.. which has not happened in a long time.. and I ate on my own side of the booth.. with no sticky syrup fingers on my sleeve.. and the only food I cut up was my own ;)

they started all the mamas with piping hot cranberry scones with honey butter! yes please.. the only con to this brunch.. was I asked for a half orange juice half soda water.. and it was just a watered down orange juice.. but all was forgiven with the scones.. 

we walked around and saw the baby duckies.. picked some flowers.. and then once we got Olive in the car.. we realized she stepped in dog shit and it was all up her tights ad her new blue gingham shoes.. and daddy’s sleeve.. 

(this is why I never dress her up mama ;)  I knew my own mama would have been proud though to see I made an attempt at making her look like a little girl.. or a “pin-cess” as she called it..  I am in trouble.. she even had large sticker jeweled earrings on!!

this time last year.. we were sitting at a 3 hour brunch getting sunburns.. this year.. not so much.. even with all the pregnancy hormones running through my body.. I was frozen solid.. 

and the daddy listened well.. all I wanted this year was brunch and flowers.. but maybe next year I will mention I want a decent shot of me and my babies.. no such luck.. I blame the pregnancy face.. we are at the stage where my neck is slowly lumping into my face and its not pretty ;) I have always fought with the “Bruce neck” as it is.. but pregnancy just makes it glow.. 

but the flowers were beautiful.. and because the daddy was BLESSED with a sneak away trip to the Vancouver hockey game last night.. there was also a bag of dill pickle chips sitting beside my card.. ahh.. that man knows the way to my heart! Canadian goods!!

and now.. he is at work.. and I am at home resting.. and enjoying Olives other gift to me.. a 3 hour nap.. this woman has not napped in weeks.. and her grumpy bumpy attitude has been proof of that.. and I can hear her sweet little voice in the monitor.. and she sounds back to her old self!! 

Happy Mamas Day to all the special mamas out there.. :) and a special shout out to my little peanut pop who made me a mama!! you know who you are!

we painted the town center red! or actually.. it was yellow hearts.. from bostons all the way home.. haha.. why I thought an almost 38 week pregnant woman should do 20 squats was a good idea.. is beyond me ;)

May 07th, 2011

I am spent.. 

Olive is spent.. 

This pregnancy is spent.. 

I am asking the sleeping Gods to be kind to me tonight.. 

gestational diabetes.. you will not be missed.. (at all)..

cinco cinco..

May 05th, 2011

       

today is Cinco De Mayo! and in the Americas.. especially the town center.. hello La Palmera.. it is huge.. and a great way to celebrate.. because I like to celebrate.. well anything!! except no ice cold coronas for me :(  but the food.. bring on the Mexican Food ;)

last night.. I was granted sleep glorious sleep!! with only minimal wake ups to roll my large and very in charge belly over to bring blood flow to the other side of my body.. it was amaze-balls! the only down fall.. the serving nightmares I had!! really?!  but I woke up and felt more rested then I have in a while.. so I will take it.. 

time to find my wellies and rain jacket.. Washington weather is back.. and I have a baby to walk out of me ;)