rookie move..

June 15th, 2011

yesterday I had a babysitter for Olive.. papa was in town and wanted to hang out.. I was pumped!! like.. not going to even think about a nap pumped.. (and those are rare these days).. I got the bag ready.. the baby was almost ready.. olive was up and waiting.. and when he arrived.. I literally ran out the door..

ciao papa

I made sure to pump before I left.. so I could take my time scouring the giant babys r us aisles.. taking my time.. there were many things I needed.. getting her out of the car made her start to squawk.. we started cruising the first aisle.. and the hunger cry came.. no worries! I will go grab the bottle in my purse that I left in the fridge..  gulp.. are you kidding.. its ok.. I will hold her! i can do this.. nope.. ok.. they have a nursing room here.. I didn’t bring my cover.. but that’s ok.. boobs out it is.. oh wait.. I pumped before I left.. no milk in there either.. gulp.. you know what.. I am going to just buy some formula (the #1 reason I was there) and I will buy a single bottle.. and we will be fine for the day.. I did not want to back track the 20 minutes back home.. I only had 2 hours’ish.. 

the only difference between this aisle.. and the one I was actually in.. was that this aisle HAD my formula.. my babys r us was fresh out.. double gulp.. ok.. now I was a hormonal mess.. I just wanted some errand running time with my peanut.. and now I am the crazy mom in the formula aisle trying not to throw F bombs at the formula wall.. ok  abort babys r us.. grabbed the 2 items I also needed.. threw them in the cart.. bolted to the checkout.. where the teenage boy (why is there a teenage boy working at babys r us?!)  helped me out.. like he was a grandma.. slow and steady.. when he asked if I wanted buyer protection for my 24.99 item.. I almost snarled his face off.. I was holding my peanut in my arms screaming while I literally threw my wallet at him.. pick a card.. any card..  and he felt the need to put the two small items into two separate bags?!  ok.. we made it out of the store.. now where in my bottomless hobo purse are my F&$^&@^#&@ keys!!  

and this is where the higher powers stepped in.. telling me to slow it down.. for one of the first time ever! (with both children)  these two woman walked up and asked if they could look at my baby.. from across the parking lot.. 

them-that sounds like a new baby? can I see it?

me- yes it is.. and shes not happy. (still trying to dig for the keys)

them- oh.. insert a million questions here..

me- huh!?

them- is this your first child?! (haha)

me- nope.. but I feel like it is.. insert fake laugh.. 

ok.. they finally left.. I threw the baby into the car.. and started b-lining it home.. made it home after a call to the daddy crying.. ” I feel like an amateur!! I am never going to survive this first year!!” thankfully he just listened and told me I could have alone time next Monday on our days off ;) i made it home.. grabbed the pumped milk.. ran back to the car scratching all my plans for the day and deciding to just go for a coffee and read with her.. I opened the door to a very angry little baby.. it broke my heart.. and for the first time in over three weeks.. her tears finally came in.. so instead of making it 3 blocks to the coffee shop.. I fed her outside my own home in my car.. with my babysitter inside.. all I could do was laugh.. this was how I spent my first babysitting time away.. outside my own home!! 

I decided to turn it around and be positive and go for a coffee.. and instead of my usual favorite coffee shop.. I went to the Starbucks.. becuase I did not want to talk to anyone..  i wanted my coffee.. some high calorie loaf of some sort.. and my book (hello fourth addition of the Twilight series.. again..)  the baby was happy.. we wheeled in.. fooling everyone who watched us.. they probably thought I was a normal first time mom who had it all together ;) ordered my coffee.. and look.. there was an open spot on one of the big comfy chairs!! perfect.. normally I wouldn’t just sit across from someone I didn’t know in those awkward chairs that face each other.. but I needed a comfy chair.. yoink.. got it.. all I could think about was how NOONE was going to ruin this hour.. me.. my book.. my cuddly baby.. alone.. 

sit down.. stirred my iced soy carmel macchiato.. cracked open the dog eared page and took a breathe.. 

awe.. how old is she?!

OH.. EM.. GEE.. I have never had this many strangers talk to me in one day.. I folded the book closed.. put it back in the stroller basket and looked up.. I had plunked myself down in front of a pregnant woman!! of course I had ;)  36 minutes later.. I knew that she was due tomorrow.. delivering at the same hospital.. and what kind of pump and stroller she needed.. I finally just leaned back in the chair and grabbed the book.. and they took the hint that it was my alone time again.. 

I read.. and read.. and read.. and little brixton nestled into my chest and kept me warm.. because of course I was under the big air conditioning unit :P next thing I knew.. time had flown by.. we packed ourselves back into the car and came home.. 

I felt like a first time mom.. I almost came home and told papa that I was going to just hang out upstairs.. do not disturb!! It was very inflating to the superwoman mama pride.. 

triple gulp..